Blog that attitude!

It’s at this hour that I feel…..so lonely without you when the whole world takes to their sleeping bed…. I am staying awake wondering how you are doing at this moment…..how you are feeling with your pain that you have been complaining about yesterday….how sweet your face is at this quiet hour…your new sexy hair style….when u are fast asleep.

It is also at this hour that I feel…..missing you is so real ever than what I have ever felt before….missing your smile in the day….and the uniqueness of your lovely personality….missing your sweet lovely voice……..missing your beautiful eyes…..missing your little bully jokes you love to pull on me….missing your heart to heart talk…missing every inch about you….missing you to death….till tomorrow comes….another chapter another anticipation…but every second of missing you has kept me going strong….never fading….

therefore at this hour i still feel.…that meeting you was never a mistake…a joy to remember for the rest of my life….a strength to carry on….an excitement that never ends….a new tale that unfolds each day…a heartbeat that is different….a determination…that will push me…. forward….although i could not tell the future…somehow I still strongly choose ….to have faith….the courage to dream big….to take that full responsibility even when missed…and to never blame you in what you will choose….till the day comes…..to face the moment of truth…without any pride…or a single doubt…in what you ever want in your life…that will keep you smiling like i hope you are now….

this hour…
thinking of you is like a never ending story…..a fairytale dream that has no beginnings yet so beautifully crafted…and still ongoing ….wishing that it will never end……and even if it ever does…it will still find a way back home …..home to where it belongs….and where it always will belong….I hope you will understand how I feel some day…thou it may not release itself yet….but each day I am falling so cheem deeply….into you….*sigh…..while you are still cautious I hope you understand …that so far i still cannot bring myself to admit it …..to tell it to your face…..so cheem dear…..hope you dun get nausea by it….. :)   

Tonight I wanna cry………….
Dear I feel your pain tonight and I don’t know why you choose to share it with me where as you have tons of caring people near and around you ……I’m just a mystery to you and yet I’m feeling it from far away but I’m glad that you trusted me this much to see your tears trickling down from your beautiful eyes….never expected  love can hurt a person so much ….brings me back to those days where my heart was torn apart like it never mattered to the one person that matters to you the most….Hence….
Tonight I wanna cry…………..
I guess one of the worst characteristics a lover can have is to be ignorant….but believe me dear you do not deserve to be ignored even for one second of your life….but as they say distance makes the heart grow fonder….. and so is mine genuinely each day….finding a way to go home…..someday….I don’t know why it has always been this way for me to feel for the one from far rather than some one who is near…..but faith is the only thing that will keep me going on…….Hence
Tonight I wanna cry……………
So that I can walk the next day facing daily challenges and knowing that you will always be there brings a relief even to the toughest problems ….I thought i had wings but I guess I am just a simple human being trying to understand what love is all about…..to be honest I do know what the greatest love is like but that’s between Man and God…..yet I do not know why love between humans can be very complicated at times……guess I’m still on the learning curve of it……it would be a lie to say that i totally understand it…Hence
Tonight I wanna cry……………
Because I suddenly feel like running away……further away….to the open path of freedom and passion…I don’t know why I am feeling this suddenly…this instance that perhaps…….I have been deliberately told to face my nightmare all over again…….but i do hope that how we connect will never be disconnected in any way…..it will never be fair ……..for me and neither will it do to you……beacause to hell with my pride….
Tonight I just wanna cry…………..My HEART out for you!……cheem….. just the way u loved it…..

No today I shall change my blogging habit for once…..for once I will blog when I am conscious and not sleepy! Don’t agree…? It’s MY Blog and I don’t care!!!…OK here’s a little something I want to share, I had a spontaneous bet with a cool friend recently about losing weight and  we should reach a certain target until the next time I meet her up.  Whoever hits the target  shall be the winner and the loser shall buy a RL polo shirt for the winner (RM400++) *gulp…..well never mind the price involved but the worst part is the winner also gets the benefit to make the loser do something for him/her. She was quick to tell me that if she wins she would ask me to dress up as a girl(with clothing of her choice) and go hand in hand with her in the Supermarket!!!! cool it really motivates me to win ;P….. Then I gave her my ideas and shall add a few in the list below:

1) Dress up like Britney Spears (from the "oops i did it again" time) and sing one of her latest song "gimme gimme" at a shopping mall hand in hand pleading with a cup…..hmmmm maybe I should forget the hand in hand or else people would think i’m dating a nutter……ahhahaha

ooops i did it again

2) This is a bit crazy……"la chik" in the Supermarket for  1 hour…..hahahhaa…..bet u won’t dare do this girl…..hahaha…still thinking of starting late?….eat more eat more hahaha…  well for those who dunno the term….errmm for us to know and for you to find out

3) Dress up like a real clown exactly like this!!!!…ahhahaha


and and… walk around in the a supermarket/mall saying "peekaboo" for 1 hour!!!……ahahhahaha……bet u are grrrring…ehehhe

4)Dress up as a Ballerina and play badminton with me in a public court for 2 hours!!….eh girl wrong sports ler…hehehee how embarrasing!???

5)……………….

Well the list can go longer if anyone don’t mind help to add it and also give me some fast efficient diet plans to me so I can blog the outcome of it with full details and pic when the time comes….hehehe…!

Here it is happening again….I still cannot sleep even in the wee hours of the morning  but this one was worth it because it’s not work related at least…..It was so worth it that I have to stay awake and type this down because wa beh cai  I don’t know what the future  holds and maybe someday I’ll look back and savor this very entry….this very moment.

Well as a matter fact I had stayed up the whole night enjoying the chat and talk I had with this very " Lovely  yet Mysterious " soul (no not a ghost don’t worry it;s not time for a spooky story yet )….I still cannot sleep…..because the effect that got into me is similar to  being  run down by a train….and until now i don’t know what the heck hit me…i’m perhaps lying in the open track of freedom…motionless and yet so confused because for the first time in ages that I finally felt the sensations of missing somebody and it is as if someone has opened up new channels to explore and appreciate life while it still exist ….and I still cannot sleep but to think back of our conversation tonight.

I guess I’m still trying to figure out what hit me……I can’t even remember when did I ever opened up so much to a total stranger but trust me I am some sort of an introverted person and I don;t just open up easily to anyone…one thing i have to do when I still cannot sleep is to salute you while i still can because yes i admit you are great and yes I know you know it ;P…. You and I spoke of many things but still the honesty is just too much and I have never felt so connected but yet confused at the same time until i don;t even have a clue to what I’m trying say last night.

In our sleep I hope we still wake up to remember where we left the bits and pieces of the conversation but even if you don’t and to hell with what effect alcohol has to humans…. It was one hell of a night and definitely a start of a crazy relationship/friendship/kinship/missed the ship????hahahaha and I don’t care where it will lead to because I will never know……..unless you tell me so…..because right now something in me still cannot Sleep….cheem…..ahhahahahha wtf!